My name is Bob and this is my story….
“I hate the way you talk about each other.”
I had a brilliant relationship with my daughter Ella, until Sophie and I divorced. The separation was hard on everyone.
Sophie has often said that she felt the separation was relatively amicable and she tried to make sure that there was positive contact between Ella and I. It was important to us that Ella had both of her parents.
However, as the months and then years passed it began to deteriorate. When we were referred to the Cyrenians Conflict Resolution Team things were at their frostiest. Our mediator tried to rebuild our relationship but Ella had become withdrawn from me and from the process. I could see that the strain of our relationship and the breakdown of my marriage had made her extremity anxious and her mental health was suffering. It was difficult to know that I couldn’t comfort my daughter because we weren’t ‘in that place’. I was devastated… not only had I lost my marriage but I had lost my daughter as well.
Ella said to our mediator, in private, that she hated the way Sophie and I had been speaking to each other and about the other person. We hadn’t even realised that we were doing it but it brought Ella so much pain…I suppose we were also in a huge amount of pain still and projected it into the way we talked about each other.
Mediation was a total fix for us. There is still a really long way to go but it allowed us to have open and honest conversations for the first time in a long time and I can see that things are moving in the right direction.
I want to thank Cyrenians because Sometimes, life happens. That’s why we need organisations like Cyrenians. They are there for people like me, people like you, when it does.